Rest In Peace, Baby Einstein


This is Iva’s new friend James.

But we’re not here to talk about James just yet. Instead, we’re going to mourn the passing of the Baby Einstein toy just to the left of James in this picture.

The Baby Einstein Color Kaleidoscope toy has been one of the Polk families favorites. It was a gift from my brother, Roy, and his girlfriend, Laurel. And as soon as Iva learned to grasp things, she loved to mash the buttons and listen to the music and watch the colors. When the music would start – as with any music – she would bounce up and down with a big grin on her face. And her big grin gave us big grins, so we were all one happy family.

This toy brought us many smiles. But, alas, it has been put to death.

To call the monster that brought this toy down a “poop explosion” is a severe understatement. It was, indeed, a poop monster. One that covered every toy within reach and the entire inside of her pack and play. Her poor diaper was helpless against the sheer force and size of the monster.

Y’all. I’m not kidding. I had no idea this much poop was even possible. There was so much poop. And the saddest part of the whole situation is (here’s where I earn my Mother of the Year award), I didn’t even notice it right away. I didn’t notice until it was EVERYWHERE. She was like five feet from me, playing contentedly in her pack and play while I worked on dinner. I didn’t hear anything and she never fussed. I was talking to her with my back turned and several minutes later, Kyle and I went over to play with her and … we were both speechless. And she looked up at us and smiled with poop smeared on her nose.

POOP! ON MY BABY’S FACE!! So gross. So, so gross.

I turned off all the eyes on the stove and we just took her and sat her in the tub. We cut her clothes off of her. They were too far gone to try to spare. Yet another one of the poop monster’s casualties.

Every other toy that was in there was just a hard plastic toy (a rattle, two rubber ducks and a block), so those went straight into a cleaning solution to soak for a while following her bath. But the Baby Einstein toy … well, it’s not recommended for submerging in water, I’m sure, but I turned it off and stuck it in anyway. (Did I mention there was SO MUCH POOP!!) I rinsed the majority of it off and it wasn’t completely clean – so many little crevices for the poop to be stuck in. And already the music mechanism was messed up. So I made a command decision: she’s too young to be attached to it, so it went into the trash can.

(“Taps” playing in the background.)

Dear Baby Einstein Color Kaleidoscope Toy,

You brought us many smiles and much happiness during your time in our family. Thank you for attempting to teach my child her colors – in French, Spanish, and English. And even giving her an opportunity to learn that yellow and blue make green. You gave it a valiant effort, but it just was not meant to be. May you rest in peace.


12 responses to “Rest In Peace, Baby Einstein

  1. Oh. My. Goodness. While it sounds like it’d be a sight to behold, I’m glad I wasn’t a witness. Had she had anything weird to eat to cause that much poop? It didn’t sound like it was diarrhea or anything (since she just kept right on with her happy little content self).


    Such a great story πŸ™‚

    • I think bananas might’ve been part of the problem, again. Until last week, we hadn’t tried bananas since a couple of months ago, when they stopped her up for five days. So we started trying them again last week and it didn’t really have THAT much effect, but … maybe?!?!

      Or it could be that she’s teething and this is how the issue chose to manifest itself this time?

      Or it could just be a freak thing that happened — twice (though to a MUCH lesser degree the second time) this week.

  2. Oh. Boy. Poop stories are the worst, aren’t they? They do bring some good laughs in the future though…we had a similar story like this one with Kayil. Oh, what a mess!! Sorry to hear that a favored toy died in the midst of the poop war…

  3. ahhh hahahaha you cut her clothes off?! that MUST have been a doozy!

    • i cried because i laughed sooooo much reading this!!!! i have have many of these experieces, but i don’t recall having to say goodbye to such a dear toy!

    • It was deeeee-scusting, that’s for sure! I honestly didn’t know that was something that happened. I’ve never heard of or seen anything like it!!

  4. wow, kids these days are really full of it, lol
    sorry it was such a messy experience for all; especially the toy ;o(

  5. WOW!! I have some of these kind of stories with Nicolas and Natalie, but none that bad to take out a toy. I totally agree with Anna I cried i was laughing so hard….HAHA! By the way Rita I need your address please.

  6. Oh Rita, this is so crazy and funny!! So sorry you had to deal with Poop Monster!! Oh man…

  7. LOL!!!! No childhood would be complete without a good poop story. πŸ™‚

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