The Cruel Ironies of Life

Ever since Heather and Jamie have been planning to move, I’ve had in mind to dig through my old blog to find this post that I made about them. Complete irony: I posted it exactly two years – to the day – before their first day in their new home in Hampton.

I posted a while back about Anna, my best friend since middle school. She was my maid of honor and, at her wedding in June, I’ll be her matron of honor. She’s a very good friend, but I’ve found in the months since I’ve been married that our priorities are completely different. Things that I’ve always had in common with her, I’m finding harder and harder to relate to.

The change was overnight. On Thursday, September 2, 2004, I was a normal 22 year old girl who was still tying up loose ends for the big wedding day. But on Saturday, September 4, 2004, the wedding was all over, and my priorities were completely changed. It was as if something inside me had been re-wired. I know I sound like some kind of 1950s wife (think Stepford Wives) or something, but now I live for
being married and my highest priority is always Kyle.

It takes a married person to understand the change that happens when you’re married. When you’re engaged, you understand, in an abstract sense, that a lot of change will happen. But you can’t fully grasp it until it actually happens. And when it does, it’s hard to remember life before “the change” because you’re happier because of it. So having a married friend to talk about it with is very beneficial.

Heather and Jamie are our married friends.


Heather is from Hampton. Her brother (Chris) and Kyle were best friends growing up, so she was always like an older sister to Kyle.


Jamie is not originally from Moncks Corner, but he’s lived here for 8 or 9 years, working as youth minister at my church. He was my youth minister during my high school years.


During my senior year of high school, Jamie was looking for a children’s minister to work part time and help him out – especially with summer projects for the children. So he hired Heather as his children’s intern. She was a senior Elementary Ed. major at Charleston Southern University, so this opportunity was right up her alley. Less than a year later, they were dating. and the following summer they were married (July 2001), and, of course, we give him a hard time about ‘hiring’ his wife and how he should’ve found a better pick-up line! 🙂


Heather and I became good friends when I graduated from NGC and moved back to Moncks Corner. She helped a lot when I was making my wedding plans. She was one of my bridesmaids in the wedding.


She and Jamie and I work at the church together. Kyle and I go out to eat with them – usually at least once a week. It’s fun because they’re married and they understand ‘married people things’. We can talk to
them. When I’m awful and mean to Kyle, Heather remembers and understands the frustrations of the first year and doesn’t make me feel like even more of a jerk by saying, “Goodness, Rita. You need to be nicer.” Even when I’m unreasonable, she doesn’t tell me that and make me feel worse. She lets me figure it out on my own. And she prays for me … which is always helpful.

(this post in its original context)

So here’s to Heather and Jamie. To married friends. To good friends, and GREAT friends. To the Best Baby Ever. And to having a new place to sleep in Hampton!

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3 responses to “The Cruel Ironies of Life

  1. A married friend :)

    This was sweet. 🙂 You’re right about priorities changing with marriage, and the great importance of having married friends! It makes me a little sad that I can’t seem to have the same close relationship with my still-single friends, but married friends offer such understanding! Hooray for married friends! 🙂

  2. Awww… I’m going to miss that family!

    So I’ve been told that me and Craig are going to be your new “married friends”. Sounds like a tough void to fill. Just promise you won’t kill me when I tell you I’ve been horrible and mean to Craig. 🙂

  3. Amy,

    You say that like I’m not his little sister who spent her entire childhood finding every way to torment him! I can probably give you some pointers! 🙂

    Every couple goes through it. All of our marriage has been fun, but it really is kind of interesting to look back and see that, yeh, as fun as it was, the first few months kind of were the hardest! You learn a lot. The key is to learn and grow together.

    You’ll have a lot of fun – you and Craig. And WE’LL have a lot of fun – the four of us!!

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